After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
