The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
