So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
