worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
