My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They have beer where we have blood.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
