Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
