I wish you could order shots online.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
