I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
