I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
