He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
