things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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