Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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