You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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