I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
