You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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