Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
