Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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