Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
