she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
