How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
