That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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