This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
