you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
