my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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