oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
