i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
