Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
