she woke up with a sticky ear
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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