last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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