he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
