I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
