Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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