Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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