Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
