So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
