I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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