If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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