would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there was a trapeze. enough said
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
