Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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