Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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