I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
