just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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