Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
