so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
