Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize