Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
