Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize