ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
