This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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