uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
