WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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