My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
