You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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