I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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