If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize