"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
