her vagina looked like bernie madoff
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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