I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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