It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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