She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
