and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize