So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
